For too long, I ignored my body's pleas to slow down and rest and take care of its needs. This week my body finally stopped me in my tracks. I'm listening now.
I can totally relate to back issues after injuring myself, again, last summer doing renovation work. I have periodically injured my back off and on for years with sports, gardening and renovating. It was nothing on the level you have experienced. It took a while before I was better. Now, I just need to remember to be more careful. Will I?
I can relate even more to not being still. I really can't find balance. I need the ability to eliminate some of the activities that I don't have time for, or reduce the amount of time I spend on projects. Or make time for yoga and relaxation. Or shift my priorities: I want to do it all. But naturally, no I can't.
I do have, though, one suggestion that was helpful. I was preparing for a show last year and used my calendar on my phone to break down my planning: hourly, weekly and monthly. It was quite a revelation when I planned hour by hour. To see exactly how much time I actually had. And didn't have. The didn't have was quite the eye opener.
I look forward to reading some of the writing you suggest here!
Thank you Mary for being here with your empathy & wise words. I am sorry you’ve suffered as well with back issues, so common I am realizing, and your discovery pf calendaring your time as a reality check: I have done that as well the past couple of years & thought I was being more realistic & kinder to myself but my body is telling me—good try but not enough, pare it down further, friend.
Hi Amy, Hope you are able to move now. How disappointing for you to miss this trip. Of course, you can go another time but what a let-down right now. Are you on your own in Barcelona? Wise of you to let yourself heal. I’m trying to exercise. I feel the loss of muscle and the onset of sarcopenia so I’m fighting to maintain what I have. We eat non processed food but oh do I have a sweet tooth. Continual struggle. Thinking of you as you heal. Hugs
Hi Sallie, thanks for the kind & supportive words. Take good care of yourself! I have Sara here for a week while Marielle away, to see me through the initial tough week 💗
Hi Amy, I'm hoping that by the time you read this comment, your pain has already reduced to a tolerable level. I like what you wrote here: "...my body is saying, Slow your roll, honey. It’s coming, but maybe not as fast as you’d like. Take your time."
It might very well be that discovering the physical limits of your body is part of the theme of Discovery this year!
I offer you the imagery of the stick figure inside a circle--being fully embodied, as something to meditate on.
I know it's hard to be still when our mind moves full throttle ahead of our body with plans of what to do next, especially when these plans are fueled by great enthusiasm, just like those on your wish list upon arriving in Spain. But I see that you're learning from the message from your precious body and taking it all in.
Take good care, Amy! Best wishes for your recovery, healing and embodiment.
I appreciate these very wise reminders, Louisa and your own kind words as my friend to remember to leave a cushion of time between all my very busy activities and events and plans and dreams. That stick figure being embodied inside the circle of her body rather than rushing ahead of it....I will think about that. I like that you pointed out part of the theme of Discovery this year may be discovering the limits of my body. I don't like it, the cost of the pain of this discovery, but I know that is is a necessary wake up call if i am going to resume a full active life.
Oh my dearest! I want to shower you with lots and lots of cushions. Yes, Time Cushions they are :-D
Sometimes we won't like the cost of our discoveries, but pain may be our wise body's final attempt to get us to listen in and not talk back. I've had that wakeup call in my mid-30s when my body couldn't take it anymore... the frozen back and then the huge tumors. So I learned to surrender to my body's will, painful bit by painful bit and paid the dear prices. It's never too late to heed the alarm bell, Amy, and I know you will overcome this challenge with a stronger body and more sustainable way of carrying it in the world. Your body is waiting patiently to support you in all the great adventures of your new chapter of life.
Let me gift you this: "Patience brings the roses." (I think it's a Czech proverb?) 🌹
Sending you peace and chill time Amy, I love that you’re on a voyage of self discovery, despite missing out on the voyage of a lifetime. What a positive take you have on a painful episode, so typical of you! I am truly grateful that Marielle was there to help and support you at the most critical time. Now time to rest, and that’s an order!
Thanks for the order to rest and heal, my friend. I am sad every day as Marielle shares photos of their adventures (even though I told her to), knowing how wonderful it would be to be on Machu Pichhu today with them. But this voyage of self discovery is taking me in an unexpected direction and I must follow.
Wow! I relate to every bit of this! The question of why my body is betraying me, the abuse of time, the body that has to scream to get my attention. You presented so many amazing insights here. I got so much out of reading this.
Nicole, you too provide me wonderful insights from what you share of your own embodiment journey on your Substack. Our bodies screamed, yes, but now we are listening, right, and ready to make changes. Let's cheer each other on, as always.
My dear friend, first, I am so sorry that you need to reschedule your adventure to Peru. Second, I am so very very glad you are listening to your body and sloooooowing down.
As for me and listening to my own body, I have learned. I have slowed down and now I do take the time to pause. To rest, to recover and recharge. I sometimes have to re-learn this skill. After all, we live in a culture that glorifies GO GO GO! I wonder if thinking about it in a slightly different way, "I am standing up to the cultural norm of hyper productivity with an act of resistance, I am choosing REST. <3
When I visit, let us go slooow while also enjoying. with so much love, Kristin
REST as an act of resistance. Yes! Do you know the work of Tricia Hersey and her Ministry of Naps? I have heard her interviewed on We Can Do Hard Things. What she is doing is revolutionary, especially to highlight how Black women are not "allowed" to rest even more so than White women in our culture.
I'm glad you see this as a gift -- as it is, in a larger sense. I've been dealing with the same "gift" to a lesser degree the past six weeks, and it is definitely humbling and a test of my rather fragile patience. Good for you for NOT doing what you need to not do — but I think it's okay to be bummed that you had to cancel your trip to Peru!
Thank you Jan: yes i am here for the lessons my body is determined to share but allowing myself the sadness of not going on the trip too. Hope your health is on the mend.
Thank you for an excellent reminder. My skeleton informs me of my desires vs my practices. Loose ligaments and unstable joints cause my daily pain. My favorite, most reliable way back to core strength, appropriate flexibility, and skillful movement is by doing Ai Chi (not t'ai chi) in 4-foot-deep, thermoneutral water. The phenomenal combination of methodical expansion in reduced gravity, increased proprioception, and reliable balance support is unparalleled. Have you tried Ai Chi?
Hi SJ! I am sorry that you experience daily pain but the pain does seem to give you no choice but to take care of your body--and I am learning that too now, not to take my body for granted as I have been. Ai Chi sounds fascinating. I have not tried it but will look into it.
Oh Amy, so sorry to hear that you're not able to go on your Peru adventure, but your body has other plans for you and I'm glad you're listening to it. No doubt you'll be adventuring again soon, at a pace that is more sustainable. Wishing you a speedy recovery and less pain every day. xoxo
Sending a gentle hug your way, Amy. And quietly cheering your decision to take care of your body. I can relate to much of what you shared. I remember the single step I took across the floor that was the final trigger in a herniated disc. It happened right before the most intense parts of physical caregiving for my mom. At the time I had to take steroids and power through. Since then, I've had to human-scale my expectations for what my body can do now while also seeking sustainable ways to strengthen it. It's been a bit intimidating to swallow that I can no longer have the pace I once did.
I love that you're exploring what this means for you now, having just made an epic move and embracing with joy this new adventure. Cheers to the woman who is also embracing the rest.
Shea, thank you for this thoughtful comment. I am so sorry to hear of your injury and yes I can totally see that happening prior to intense caregiving & just powering through; sounds like me, too. I love the phrase ‘human-scale my expectations,’ i am doing the same, humbly. And grateful for what my body has to teach me.
Amy, this, "I am a woman who lies down on her bed in the middle of the day and says, “You may rest. You must rest.” I love this so much. I too am a woman who goes and goes, or was a woman who did that. My husband is teaching me how to slow down, or more accurately, that is is okay, necessary to rest. It's so much easier (is it? lol) to be busy, to be productive, to be doing.
And this, "It’s coming, but maybe not as fast as you like. Take your time." I feel that way about moving to CA. I want it so bad and yet I know the timing isn't here yet.
Someone here on substack posted a note the other day that said something like, "by the time you're 40 you should have lived 40 years. That's it. That's all you need to have done." I wish I remembered who it was, because that quote keeps sticking with me.
Sending you love and healing and so much support for resting. xoxoxo
Thank you Jocelyn; I love that your husband models slowing down for you. That is a wise quote: simply to have lived—to experience whatever we experience in this life—is its own form of riches.
Amy, I'm so sorry you are experiencing this physical pain and I'm sure, some disappointment, too. Our bodies can dig their heels into the ground and create some serious roadblocks sometimes. May this detour you are on be one that is healing, and may it be one that has some unexpected silver linings, too.
You have such an adventurous spirit - one that yearns to keep exploring. I love that about you. And I know that you will keep on exploring and discovering - after a little bit of rest.
Thank you Allison. My adventurous spirit is indeed very sad to be missing this trip. But as you say my body has dug in her heels and she’s in charge now. I suspect there are silver linings to be found—and already one in the form of an extra visit from my daughter Sara.
I’m sorry you’ve experienced this, Amy… but as you’ve discovered, there is a message for you in your back creating pain that’s thwarted your long awaited adventure. If it’s slowing down a bit, that’s a message you needed to hear. I’ve learned to look for the message that I needed to hear when life stops me in my tracks.
I hope you get to take that trip to Peru in the future- definitely on my list of adventures, too!
I am sorry this is happening for you, Amy. It sounds so painful. And yet, you are wise to what is needed and that makes all the difference. I have learned to live by the motto, Let the body lead. Because it really is in charge. Take good care and recover well!
Oh, Amy! I'm sorry that your plans have changed so suddenly. Yes, the messages from our bodies. Unfortunately for me, I've been so dissociated from those messages at times that I miss them entirely, thinking of only the structural and not considering the emotional. I'm learning to tune in better than I have in the past. I was in a relationship for more than 2 years, and my body knew that it wasn't right for me. Whenever I was with her, I was in physical pain and I experienced gut issues as well. When we ended, the pain in my body, the GI issues got better quickly. Not completely, but noticeably. And I too, run from thing to thing, and am finally catching on that I need to put time in between my activities. Injecting a pause, a breath, some sanity. I'm getting better at it! Balance is key. Heal well, my lovely friend. xo
Thank you Nan for your kind words and for sharing how you also missed your body’s messages…life is constantly giving us lessons. Good thing that I am happy to be a perpetual student. Let’s keep working at injecting the pause.
I can totally relate to back issues after injuring myself, again, last summer doing renovation work. I have periodically injured my back off and on for years with sports, gardening and renovating. It was nothing on the level you have experienced. It took a while before I was better. Now, I just need to remember to be more careful. Will I?
I can relate even more to not being still. I really can't find balance. I need the ability to eliminate some of the activities that I don't have time for, or reduce the amount of time I spend on projects. Or make time for yoga and relaxation. Or shift my priorities: I want to do it all. But naturally, no I can't.
I do have, though, one suggestion that was helpful. I was preparing for a show last year and used my calendar on my phone to break down my planning: hourly, weekly and monthly. It was quite a revelation when I planned hour by hour. To see exactly how much time I actually had. And didn't have. The didn't have was quite the eye opener.
I look forward to reading some of the writing you suggest here!
Thank you Mary for being here with your empathy & wise words. I am sorry you’ve suffered as well with back issues, so common I am realizing, and your discovery pf calendaring your time as a reality check: I have done that as well the past couple of years & thought I was being more realistic & kinder to myself but my body is telling me—good try but not enough, pare it down further, friend.
Hi Amy, Hope you are able to move now. How disappointing for you to miss this trip. Of course, you can go another time but what a let-down right now. Are you on your own in Barcelona? Wise of you to let yourself heal. I’m trying to exercise. I feel the loss of muscle and the onset of sarcopenia so I’m fighting to maintain what I have. We eat non processed food but oh do I have a sweet tooth. Continual struggle. Thinking of you as you heal. Hugs
Hi Sallie, thanks for the kind & supportive words. Take good care of yourself! I have Sara here for a week while Marielle away, to see me through the initial tough week 💗
Hi Amy, I'm hoping that by the time you read this comment, your pain has already reduced to a tolerable level. I like what you wrote here: "...my body is saying, Slow your roll, honey. It’s coming, but maybe not as fast as you’d like. Take your time."
It might very well be that discovering the physical limits of your body is part of the theme of Discovery this year!
I offer you the imagery of the stick figure inside a circle--being fully embodied, as something to meditate on.
I know it's hard to be still when our mind moves full throttle ahead of our body with plans of what to do next, especially when these plans are fueled by great enthusiasm, just like those on your wish list upon arriving in Spain. But I see that you're learning from the message from your precious body and taking it all in.
Take good care, Amy! Best wishes for your recovery, healing and embodiment.
I appreciate these very wise reminders, Louisa and your own kind words as my friend to remember to leave a cushion of time between all my very busy activities and events and plans and dreams. That stick figure being embodied inside the circle of her body rather than rushing ahead of it....I will think about that. I like that you pointed out part of the theme of Discovery this year may be discovering the limits of my body. I don't like it, the cost of the pain of this discovery, but I know that is is a necessary wake up call if i am going to resume a full active life.
Oh my dearest! I want to shower you with lots and lots of cushions. Yes, Time Cushions they are :-D
Sometimes we won't like the cost of our discoveries, but pain may be our wise body's final attempt to get us to listen in and not talk back. I've had that wakeup call in my mid-30s when my body couldn't take it anymore... the frozen back and then the huge tumors. So I learned to surrender to my body's will, painful bit by painful bit and paid the dear prices. It's never too late to heed the alarm bell, Amy, and I know you will overcome this challenge with a stronger body and more sustainable way of carrying it in the world. Your body is waiting patiently to support you in all the great adventures of your new chapter of life.
Let me gift you this: "Patience brings the roses." (I think it's a Czech proverb?) 🌹
Big hugs 💕
Beautiful and such supportive words, thank you dear one 💗
Sending you peace and chill time Amy, I love that you’re on a voyage of self discovery, despite missing out on the voyage of a lifetime. What a positive take you have on a painful episode, so typical of you! I am truly grateful that Marielle was there to help and support you at the most critical time. Now time to rest, and that’s an order!
Thanks for the order to rest and heal, my friend. I am sad every day as Marielle shares photos of their adventures (even though I told her to), knowing how wonderful it would be to be on Machu Pichhu today with them. But this voyage of self discovery is taking me in an unexpected direction and I must follow.
Wow! I relate to every bit of this! The question of why my body is betraying me, the abuse of time, the body that has to scream to get my attention. You presented so many amazing insights here. I got so much out of reading this.
Nicole, you too provide me wonderful insights from what you share of your own embodiment journey on your Substack. Our bodies screamed, yes, but now we are listening, right, and ready to make changes. Let's cheer each other on, as always.
My dear friend, first, I am so sorry that you need to reschedule your adventure to Peru. Second, I am so very very glad you are listening to your body and sloooooowing down.
As for me and listening to my own body, I have learned. I have slowed down and now I do take the time to pause. To rest, to recover and recharge. I sometimes have to re-learn this skill. After all, we live in a culture that glorifies GO GO GO! I wonder if thinking about it in a slightly different way, "I am standing up to the cultural norm of hyper productivity with an act of resistance, I am choosing REST. <3
When I visit, let us go slooow while also enjoying. with so much love, Kristin
REST as an act of resistance. Yes! Do you know the work of Tricia Hersey and her Ministry of Naps? I have heard her interviewed on We Can Do Hard Things. What she is doing is revolutionary, especially to highlight how Black women are not "allowed" to rest even more so than White women in our culture.
https://thenapministry.wordpress.com/
Thank you for your understanding words and kind encouragement.
Yes, I'm familiar with Tricia Hersey & Ministry of Naps. 🙏
May we all know rest is a right and let'sexerciseit whole honoring all of those for whom rest is so very hard to attain. 🩷
I'm glad you see this as a gift -- as it is, in a larger sense. I've been dealing with the same "gift" to a lesser degree the past six weeks, and it is definitely humbling and a test of my rather fragile patience. Good for you for NOT doing what you need to not do — but I think it's okay to be bummed that you had to cancel your trip to Peru!
Thank you Jan: yes i am here for the lessons my body is determined to share but allowing myself the sadness of not going on the trip too. Hope your health is on the mend.
Thank you for an excellent reminder. My skeleton informs me of my desires vs my practices. Loose ligaments and unstable joints cause my daily pain. My favorite, most reliable way back to core strength, appropriate flexibility, and skillful movement is by doing Ai Chi (not t'ai chi) in 4-foot-deep, thermoneutral water. The phenomenal combination of methodical expansion in reduced gravity, increased proprioception, and reliable balance support is unparalleled. Have you tried Ai Chi?
Hi SJ! I am sorry that you experience daily pain but the pain does seem to give you no choice but to take care of your body--and I am learning that too now, not to take my body for granted as I have been. Ai Chi sounds fascinating. I have not tried it but will look into it.
Oh Amy, so sorry to hear that you're not able to go on your Peru adventure, but your body has other plans for you and I'm glad you're listening to it. No doubt you'll be adventuring again soon, at a pace that is more sustainable. Wishing you a speedy recovery and less pain every day. xoxo
Thank you Tracey. It’s a heartbreak but I’m listening for the lessons I know are here.
Sending a gentle hug your way, Amy. And quietly cheering your decision to take care of your body. I can relate to much of what you shared. I remember the single step I took across the floor that was the final trigger in a herniated disc. It happened right before the most intense parts of physical caregiving for my mom. At the time I had to take steroids and power through. Since then, I've had to human-scale my expectations for what my body can do now while also seeking sustainable ways to strengthen it. It's been a bit intimidating to swallow that I can no longer have the pace I once did.
I love that you're exploring what this means for you now, having just made an epic move and embracing with joy this new adventure. Cheers to the woman who is also embracing the rest.
Shea, thank you for this thoughtful comment. I am so sorry to hear of your injury and yes I can totally see that happening prior to intense caregiving & just powering through; sounds like me, too. I love the phrase ‘human-scale my expectations,’ i am doing the same, humbly. And grateful for what my body has to teach me.
Amy, this, "I am a woman who lies down on her bed in the middle of the day and says, “You may rest. You must rest.” I love this so much. I too am a woman who goes and goes, or was a woman who did that. My husband is teaching me how to slow down, or more accurately, that is is okay, necessary to rest. It's so much easier (is it? lol) to be busy, to be productive, to be doing.
And this, "It’s coming, but maybe not as fast as you like. Take your time." I feel that way about moving to CA. I want it so bad and yet I know the timing isn't here yet.
Someone here on substack posted a note the other day that said something like, "by the time you're 40 you should have lived 40 years. That's it. That's all you need to have done." I wish I remembered who it was, because that quote keeps sticking with me.
Sending you love and healing and so much support for resting. xoxoxo
Thank you Jocelyn; I love that your husband models slowing down for you. That is a wise quote: simply to have lived—to experience whatever we experience in this life—is its own form of riches.
Amy, I'm so sorry you are experiencing this physical pain and I'm sure, some disappointment, too. Our bodies can dig their heels into the ground and create some serious roadblocks sometimes. May this detour you are on be one that is healing, and may it be one that has some unexpected silver linings, too.
You have such an adventurous spirit - one that yearns to keep exploring. I love that about you. And I know that you will keep on exploring and discovering - after a little bit of rest.
Thank you Allison. My adventurous spirit is indeed very sad to be missing this trip. But as you say my body has dug in her heels and she’s in charge now. I suspect there are silver linings to be found—and already one in the form of an extra visit from my daughter Sara.
Sending some gentle hugs. xo
Thank you Victoria 💗
I’m sorry you’ve experienced this, Amy… but as you’ve discovered, there is a message for you in your back creating pain that’s thwarted your long awaited adventure. If it’s slowing down a bit, that’s a message you needed to hear. I’ve learned to look for the message that I needed to hear when life stops me in my tracks.
I hope you get to take that trip to Peru in the future- definitely on my list of adventures, too!
It was definitely a message I needed to hear. And yes, if I make the investment in my health now, more adventures await!
I am sorry this is happening for you, Amy. It sounds so painful. And yet, you are wise to what is needed and that makes all the difference. I have learned to live by the motto, Let the body lead. Because it really is in charge. Take good care and recover well!
Thank you Cynthia, I appreciate your words of empathy. I am letting my body lead now. Surrendering at last.
I bet the surrender feels good and also takes time adjusting to. I hope you are not in too much pain, Amy!
It comes & goes but my chiropractor is helping greatly
Oh, Amy! I'm sorry that your plans have changed so suddenly. Yes, the messages from our bodies. Unfortunately for me, I've been so dissociated from those messages at times that I miss them entirely, thinking of only the structural and not considering the emotional. I'm learning to tune in better than I have in the past. I was in a relationship for more than 2 years, and my body knew that it wasn't right for me. Whenever I was with her, I was in physical pain and I experienced gut issues as well. When we ended, the pain in my body, the GI issues got better quickly. Not completely, but noticeably. And I too, run from thing to thing, and am finally catching on that I need to put time in between my activities. Injecting a pause, a breath, some sanity. I'm getting better at it! Balance is key. Heal well, my lovely friend. xo
Thank you Nan for your kind words and for sharing how you also missed your body’s messages…life is constantly giving us lessons. Good thing that I am happy to be a perpetual student. Let’s keep working at injecting the pause.
I love being a perpetual student too! Feel better, dear Amy. xo