For much of my life, creativity and I have been in a struggle. But when I see myself as the portal for what needs to come through me, she and I can lay down our arms and be at peace.
Beautiful post Amy! I wish we could have a cup of tea together! I’m walking part of the Camino next fall…not sure if we’ll get to Barcelona as we are planning to do a side trip to Malaga to visit friends. But if I do…maybe we’ll get that cup of 🫖 best!
Thanks so much for stopping by to comment and for being such a devoted reader, Donna, I really appreciate you. I am so excited that you will be walking part of the Camino next fall and if you do get to Barcelona, I'd love to meet you for a cup of tea. That would be wonderful.
Thank you for putting so much thought and work into your newsletter. There is so much in here that I relate to, from needing to leave a relationship to connect to your creative self all the way up to lighting a candle in the morning to signal your readiness. It’s so weird that I was pulled to read this particular essay because I’m sick and in the middle of reading The House of the Spirits. I’ve had it and a Murakami novel checked out from the library for the last three months. I started reading it yesterday on a time crunch because it’s due back tomorrow with no option to renew after sitting on my shelf for so long. It very much feels like a book that I MUST finish and not leave unread.
Julie, thank you for reading and stopping by to comment. I am glad you found so much that resonated with you and wow, the Isabel Allende creative spirit it is hovering around us, isn't it? Enjoy The House of the Spirits. I am about to start rereading The Daughter of Fortune by Allende because in March I will be spending a month in Chile with my daughter and her Chilean partner and visiting Allende's native country has always been a dream of mine. The Daughter of Fortune is set in Valpariso in southern Chile where we will spending most of our time and where my daughter's partner is from.
Talking about books i MUST finish, that is how I felt about yours! I have been reading and savoring since it arrived and loved it. I will be leaving a comment on Notes and an Amazon review later today. Congratulations on telling your story and publishing it so beautifully. Your storytelling riveted me from the very start of the memoir and I was cheering you on (and yes, worrying and fretting a little about you, too, because my maternal instincts flared up:-). I was particularly moved by how you described getting your daughter Karli through her panic attacks. That is some awesome mothering there. And this sentence, when you found yourself in a relationship you knew you should leave but couldn't: "Have you ever heard of love and loyalty and just wanting to die and abandon yourself for someone the way I want to abandon myself for you?" Anyway, I will distill what I loved into a Note and also would be happy to share my experience of the book on your Substack page. But since you're here, I just had to tell you how your book has been keeping me company, and I am thrilled for you to have reached your goal to publish a book. I am still working on that goal myself:-)
Oh I am so jealous of your trip to Chile. That sounds amazing!!! Thank you for all of your kind words about my book. I need them all the time and really appreciate when they come my way. Thank you. Thank you !!!
I am thankful to have you as part of my writing community, Amy! I love the idea of being a door rather than a doer and hope I can get to that place with my writing processes. I can’t wait to read your novels which will no doubt be published soon!
The same right back to you, Tracey! Grateful for you, too. And I believe that you'll get your process to that place, as challenging as it can be. And thanks for your encouragement about my novel. Fingers crossed you are right.
I loved reading this, Amy. You introduced me to this concept, “you are a door, not a doer” back on a Zoom many months ago and it has stayed on my heart. My body is still programmed to do do do but I am beginning to understand that the inclination to do and push is actually not my factory setting. It’s just how I’ve been conditioned or repurposed.
My door swings openly much more freely in the morning, too. Often when it’s still dark. I love the ritual aspect of making our creative process a devotion. And devotions are not meant to be rushed or pushed.
The universe has a better imagination than us (can’t remember where I first heard that but I believe it wholeheartedly). There is so much in store for our stories if only we get out of the way and let the magic do its thing, right?!
Your craft is so beautiful, Amy. I just know I’ll have your novel in my hands one day soon.
This is a most beautiful essay revealing the transformation of your relationship with your creative muse, Amy. The contrast between discipline and devotion (2D's) is extremely interesting and inspiring. I was brought up with a dominance of discipline (yes, the scary type that you described)... and when I veered toward what I was passionate about... my passion and devotion was squelched. So this comparison really helps me to think differently. It can be applied to other pursuits than writing too. I remember a ballet teacher of mine told me that his religion was the barre. He would do barre exercises every morning without fail. Now if we replace the word "religion" with "devotion," it starts to make total sense! I'm going to borrow this concept for practices that I want to include in my routines (including the barre).
The concept of being a door rather than a doer also makes a lot of sense and sounds liberating! And I'm glad for you that the hypnosis has stirred up something magical in your subconscious and prompted you to pick up your manuscript again.
The concept of being a door rather than a doer also makes a lot of sense and sounds liberating! And I'm glad for you that the hypnosis has stirred up something magic in your subconscious and prompted you to pick up your manuscript again.
Thank you so much Louisa, that is so kind of you to say and I like how you pointed out that I had 2Ds in there (LOL!). I am glad if this opens up a way for you to move away from the dominance of discipline. The anecdote from your ballet teacher is very revealing, yes! May your muse be liberated too.
I am so moved after reading this post and hearing about your process and seeing all the beauty that is unfolding within you as you allow yourself to reconnect with you. Thank you so much for sharing the depth that goes into your creativity. 💕
And thank you for helping me so much to reconnect with me through your masterful and beautiful hypnosis tracks. I am loving them, and so does my muse:-)
Being the door rather than the doer taps into the "flow" experience where people say "It's like I wasn't doing it. My ego stood aside and let the thing happen by itself". Focused effort and attention engages parts of the brain but not others. True creativity comes from deeper regions. We need access to both modes for success in anything worthwhile.
This is so wisely observed, Baird, thank you for sharing that, and I agree completely. I have been adding more somatic practices into my creativity to access those deeper regions, like yoga or meditation or dance, even a walk, and it's amazing how it does push the ego aside at least for awhile.
I’m so excited for the new chapter in your life Amy in Barcelona!!! It’s been 5 years since I separated from my husband and although the first couple of years were undoubtedly very difficult, life has gotten so much better, and richer! a huge part of this upgrade is my creativity. No more putting everyone else’s needs first. I like your approach to writing as a devotion. It sounds less punitive and more fun. All I know is that I’m happiest in my writing bubble, candles or not, I am flying… :)
Imola, thank you for sharing here, I really appreciate it. I'm glad to hear you are doing so well, especially that your creativity has you flying! Yay for that!! And to ending the people-pleasing ways I also know too well. Let's continue to be devotees to our writing bubbles. That makes me want to add a bottle of children's bubbles to my writing toys and blow a few bubbles before I begin writing. Play! Dance! I think that could blow the door open as well.
Thank you for sharing your heart to the best fortune teller who made those long car rides as a child so much fun! Love you Sis!
Awww…thank you sis!
Beautiful post Amy! I wish we could have a cup of tea together! I’m walking part of the Camino next fall…not sure if we’ll get to Barcelona as we are planning to do a side trip to Malaga to visit friends. But if I do…maybe we’ll get that cup of 🫖 best!
Thanks so much for stopping by to comment and for being such a devoted reader, Donna, I really appreciate you. I am so excited that you will be walking part of the Camino next fall and if you do get to Barcelona, I'd love to meet you for a cup of tea. That would be wonderful.
Thank you for putting so much thought and work into your newsletter. There is so much in here that I relate to, from needing to leave a relationship to connect to your creative self all the way up to lighting a candle in the morning to signal your readiness. It’s so weird that I was pulled to read this particular essay because I’m sick and in the middle of reading The House of the Spirits. I’ve had it and a Murakami novel checked out from the library for the last three months. I started reading it yesterday on a time crunch because it’s due back tomorrow with no option to renew after sitting on my shelf for so long. It very much feels like a book that I MUST finish and not leave unread.
Julie, thank you for reading and stopping by to comment. I am glad you found so much that resonated with you and wow, the Isabel Allende creative spirit it is hovering around us, isn't it? Enjoy The House of the Spirits. I am about to start rereading The Daughter of Fortune by Allende because in March I will be spending a month in Chile with my daughter and her Chilean partner and visiting Allende's native country has always been a dream of mine. The Daughter of Fortune is set in Valpariso in southern Chile where we will spending most of our time and where my daughter's partner is from.
Talking about books i MUST finish, that is how I felt about yours! I have been reading and savoring since it arrived and loved it. I will be leaving a comment on Notes and an Amazon review later today. Congratulations on telling your story and publishing it so beautifully. Your storytelling riveted me from the very start of the memoir and I was cheering you on (and yes, worrying and fretting a little about you, too, because my maternal instincts flared up:-). I was particularly moved by how you described getting your daughter Karli through her panic attacks. That is some awesome mothering there. And this sentence, when you found yourself in a relationship you knew you should leave but couldn't: "Have you ever heard of love and loyalty and just wanting to die and abandon yourself for someone the way I want to abandon myself for you?" Anyway, I will distill what I loved into a Note and also would be happy to share my experience of the book on your Substack page. But since you're here, I just had to tell you how your book has been keeping me company, and I am thrilled for you to have reached your goal to publish a book. I am still working on that goal myself:-)
Oh I am so jealous of your trip to Chile. That sounds amazing!!! Thank you for all of your kind words about my book. I need them all the time and really appreciate when they come my way. Thank you. Thank you !!!
I am thankful to have you as part of my writing community, Amy! I love the idea of being a door rather than a doer and hope I can get to that place with my writing processes. I can’t wait to read your novels which will no doubt be published soon!
The same right back to you, Tracey! Grateful for you, too. And I believe that you'll get your process to that place, as challenging as it can be. And thanks for your encouragement about my novel. Fingers crossed you are right.
I loved reading this, Amy. You introduced me to this concept, “you are a door, not a doer” back on a Zoom many months ago and it has stayed on my heart. My body is still programmed to do do do but I am beginning to understand that the inclination to do and push is actually not my factory setting. It’s just how I’ve been conditioned or repurposed.
My door swings openly much more freely in the morning, too. Often when it’s still dark. I love the ritual aspect of making our creative process a devotion. And devotions are not meant to be rushed or pushed.
The universe has a better imagination than us (can’t remember where I first heard that but I believe it wholeheartedly). There is so much in store for our stories if only we get out of the way and let the magic do its thing, right?!
Your craft is so beautiful, Amy. I just know I’ll have your novel in my hands one day soon.
💞💞✨✨
This is a most beautiful essay revealing the transformation of your relationship with your creative muse, Amy. The contrast between discipline and devotion (2D's) is extremely interesting and inspiring. I was brought up with a dominance of discipline (yes, the scary type that you described)... and when I veered toward what I was passionate about... my passion and devotion was squelched. So this comparison really helps me to think differently. It can be applied to other pursuits than writing too. I remember a ballet teacher of mine told me that his religion was the barre. He would do barre exercises every morning without fail. Now if we replace the word "religion" with "devotion," it starts to make total sense! I'm going to borrow this concept for practices that I want to include in my routines (including the barre).
The concept of being a door rather than a doer also makes a lot of sense and sounds liberating! And I'm glad for you that the hypnosis has stirred up something magical in your subconscious and prompted you to pick up your manuscript again.
The concept of being a door rather than a doer also makes a lot of sense and sounds liberating! And I'm glad for you that the hypnosis has stirred up something magic in your subconscious and prompted you to pick up your manuscript again.
Thank you so much Louisa, that is so kind of you to say and I like how you pointed out that I had 2Ds in there (LOL!). I am glad if this opens up a way for you to move away from the dominance of discipline. The anecdote from your ballet teacher is very revealing, yes! May your muse be liberated too.
I am so moved after reading this post and hearing about your process and seeing all the beauty that is unfolding within you as you allow yourself to reconnect with you. Thank you so much for sharing the depth that goes into your creativity. 💕
And thank you for helping me so much to reconnect with me through your masterful and beautiful hypnosis tracks. I am loving them, and so does my muse:-)
Being the door rather than the doer taps into the "flow" experience where people say "It's like I wasn't doing it. My ego stood aside and let the thing happen by itself". Focused effort and attention engages parts of the brain but not others. True creativity comes from deeper regions. We need access to both modes for success in anything worthwhile.
This is so wisely observed, Baird, thank you for sharing that, and I agree completely. I have been adding more somatic practices into my creativity to access those deeper regions, like yoga or meditation or dance, even a walk, and it's amazing how it does push the ego aside at least for awhile.
Thanks Amy. I found several years ago I could do more if I "tried" LESS. Weird paradoxes with our brains!
I’m so excited for the new chapter in your life Amy in Barcelona!!! It’s been 5 years since I separated from my husband and although the first couple of years were undoubtedly very difficult, life has gotten so much better, and richer! a huge part of this upgrade is my creativity. No more putting everyone else’s needs first. I like your approach to writing as a devotion. It sounds less punitive and more fun. All I know is that I’m happiest in my writing bubble, candles or not, I am flying… :)
Imola, thank you for sharing here, I really appreciate it. I'm glad to hear you are doing so well, especially that your creativity has you flying! Yay for that!! And to ending the people-pleasing ways I also know too well. Let's continue to be devotees to our writing bubbles. That makes me want to add a bottle of children's bubbles to my writing toys and blow a few bubbles before I begin writing. Play! Dance! I think that could blow the door open as well.
... the journey continues...
It certainly does, Ron! Thanks for being here, my fellow creative.