Powerful piece Amy. This is just anecdotal on my part but I suspect gray area drinking keeps people chained to that drug far longer than someone who hits "rock bottom". I have read every one of the books you mentioned and I also read Allison Deraney and Dana Leigh Lyons amongst others in the AF space. Community is everything to me and one of the reasons that I am closing in on 19 months. I have a need for real connection (If your into Enneagram tests I'm a solid 4!) so I am involved in a bunch of sobriety or sobriety adjacent groups daily. Also when I stopped drinking my creativity came back so I write. So glad to have crossed paths Amy!
Thank you for reading my piece . I think you’re right about gray area drinking; I know I kept sliding further down that slippery slope for a very long time without ever acknowledging the harm it was causing me. Connection is everything to me, too. I’m an Enneagram 2 but with a strong 4 wing😀glad you read Allison & Dana. You know, by far the most response I ever got on Substack was back in early Feb when I posted a photo of myself celebrating my 4th year of sobriety. That Note has nearly 4,000 likes & dozens of comments. There is so much support here in this community for making this brave choice. Glad you’re here, Rob.
Thanks, Amy. Very late to see this, but resonates loudly. Pandemic drinking was the death spiral for me and my marriage. This summer, my wife said “we’re done”. I’m now 45 days sober. And even in that relatively short time, it has given me the clarity to flip the script and realize I’m the one who’s done, and was so long ago. Just let my drinking numb me into staying in a place I should have left long ago. No more.
Thanks, Nate, for reading my piece which I expect you saw from Allison Deraney's kind resharing on Notes during this Recovery month. You and I are very alike in both the pandemic drinking to blind us to what we needed to see, that numbing to stay in place. Keep going! The gifts of sobriety are many, and I've not regretted my decision once since ending my drinking on Feb 1, 2021. I hope you find your happiness in this next chapter of your life.
Thanks Amy. Lots of shame and regret for me. Despite what I said about flipping the script, I know most (not all) of the issues stemmed from my drinking and resulting behavior. Hard lessons learned, but at least I am now on the path to sobriety.
Amy, we really do have a lot more in common than our first names. My road to alcohol, and eventually sobriety, sounds very much like your own. I think in the end, you can only do what works for you and not judge other people for how they do it. I envy your Sober Sis group and hope that I can find that some day. Because no matter how you get there, it's nice to know others on similar paths. xo
Thank you for sharing your own examination of your relationship with alcohol. I credit Sober Sis with getting me from wistfully imagining sobriety to stepping on that path because of its community aspect especially so highly recommend. Also Laura McKowen’s memoir We are The Luckiest and her We Are The luckiest Club is recommended. She writes Love Story here on Substack. Holly Whitaker’s memoir and substack Recovering also hugely helpful to me. In what can feel like a wilderness of questioning our drinking in our alcohol-obsessed society these voices helped me so much.
So glad this reached you at just the right time. I have found that to be true so often in my life. When we're ready, the universe sends the messages we need to hear. I am so glad you're here!
Amy, I commend you for your courage to write about your journey to sobriety. It takes a tremendous amount of courage and strength to go through this journey and come out on the other side. And it takes vulnerability (a.k.a. courage) to share this inner journey here. I particularly like what you wrote here: "once you remove the gauze of an unhealthy dependence on alcohol, so much is revealed. We can be more honest with ourselves and with each other. We have to confront our hurt and our pain, our losses and our grief. But there is also more vividness to life, more beauty, energy, possibility. In sobriety, I have found clarity." Such a beautiful insight!
Thank you so much for the mention here, Amy. More important, thank you so much for sharing your story—one that resonates with me personally and no doubt so many.
I quit alcohol in my mid-40s, right before lockdown began. As a result, I had a very different quarantine experience than many! For that, I am deeply grateful.
But I knew I needed to quit long before that. And, like you, I found wisdom and community among sober people (mostly women) online and in books. It made getting sober fun, somehow. And energizing and exciting. It taught me that this wasn't a punishment; it was a waking up and it was liberation.
Thank you Dana! I am so glad Allison Deraney helped me find you and your important voice and role as curator of other voices on sobriety here on Substack. You gave yourself such a lovely gift in your mid-40s, and to time it right before lockdown. I imagine that opened up so many more channels for reflection and self inquiry, unclouded by alcohol. And yes, i agree with the experience of being sober as energizing and exciting. As Laura McKowen says, "we ARE the luckiest.""A waking up and a liberation," as you put it so well.
Powerful piece Amy. This is just anecdotal on my part but I suspect gray area drinking keeps people chained to that drug far longer than someone who hits "rock bottom". I have read every one of the books you mentioned and I also read Allison Deraney and Dana Leigh Lyons amongst others in the AF space. Community is everything to me and one of the reasons that I am closing in on 19 months. I have a need for real connection (If your into Enneagram tests I'm a solid 4!) so I am involved in a bunch of sobriety or sobriety adjacent groups daily. Also when I stopped drinking my creativity came back so I write. So glad to have crossed paths Amy!
Thank you for reading my piece . I think you’re right about gray area drinking; I know I kept sliding further down that slippery slope for a very long time without ever acknowledging the harm it was causing me. Connection is everything to me, too. I’m an Enneagram 2 but with a strong 4 wing😀glad you read Allison & Dana. You know, by far the most response I ever got on Substack was back in early Feb when I posted a photo of myself celebrating my 4th year of sobriety. That Note has nearly 4,000 likes & dozens of comments. There is so much support here in this community for making this brave choice. Glad you’re here, Rob.
Thanks, Amy. Very late to see this, but resonates loudly. Pandemic drinking was the death spiral for me and my marriage. This summer, my wife said “we’re done”. I’m now 45 days sober. And even in that relatively short time, it has given me the clarity to flip the script and realize I’m the one who’s done, and was so long ago. Just let my drinking numb me into staying in a place I should have left long ago. No more.
Thanks, Nate, for reading my piece which I expect you saw from Allison Deraney's kind resharing on Notes during this Recovery month. You and I are very alike in both the pandemic drinking to blind us to what we needed to see, that numbing to stay in place. Keep going! The gifts of sobriety are many, and I've not regretted my decision once since ending my drinking on Feb 1, 2021. I hope you find your happiness in this next chapter of your life.
Thanks Amy. Lots of shame and regret for me. Despite what I said about flipping the script, I know most (not all) of the issues stemmed from my drinking and resulting behavior. Hard lessons learned, but at least I am now on the path to sobriety.
Amy, we really do have a lot more in common than our first names. My road to alcohol, and eventually sobriety, sounds very much like your own. I think in the end, you can only do what works for you and not judge other people for how they do it. I envy your Sober Sis group and hope that I can find that some day. Because no matter how you get there, it's nice to know others on similar paths. xo
Thank you for sharing your own examination of your relationship with alcohol. I credit Sober Sis with getting me from wistfully imagining sobriety to stepping on that path because of its community aspect especially so highly recommend. Also Laura McKowen’s memoir We are The Luckiest and her We Are The luckiest Club is recommended. She writes Love Story here on Substack. Holly Whitaker’s memoir and substack Recovering also hugely helpful to me. In what can feel like a wilderness of questioning our drinking in our alcohol-obsessed society these voices helped me so much.
Amy, thank you so much for writing this. Right words for the right time. I am keeping this entry in my notebook pocket. Thank you - xoxoxo
So glad this reached you at just the right time. I have found that to be true so often in my life. When we're ready, the universe sends the messages we need to hear. I am so glad you're here!
Amy, I commend you for your courage to write about your journey to sobriety. It takes a tremendous amount of courage and strength to go through this journey and come out on the other side. And it takes vulnerability (a.k.a. courage) to share this inner journey here. I particularly like what you wrote here: "once you remove the gauze of an unhealthy dependence on alcohol, so much is revealed. We can be more honest with ourselves and with each other. We have to confront our hurt and our pain, our losses and our grief. But there is also more vividness to life, more beauty, energy, possibility. In sobriety, I have found clarity." Such a beautiful insight!
Yes!!
“I have found clarity.”🌱
That is wonderful and something I find time and time again when I speak to people who are sober.
Thank you for this, Amy. Affirming and important.
Appreciate the witnessing of this important decision and transition in my life. Sobriety is the gift that keeps on giving, for me.
same. truly.
Thank you so much for the mention here, Amy. More important, thank you so much for sharing your story—one that resonates with me personally and no doubt so many.
I quit alcohol in my mid-40s, right before lockdown began. As a result, I had a very different quarantine experience than many! For that, I am deeply grateful.
But I knew I needed to quit long before that. And, like you, I found wisdom and community among sober people (mostly women) online and in books. It made getting sober fun, somehow. And energizing and exciting. It taught me that this wasn't a punishment; it was a waking up and it was liberation.
Huge recognition for your path and your courage!
Thank you Dana! I am so glad Allison Deraney helped me find you and your important voice and role as curator of other voices on sobriety here on Substack. You gave yourself such a lovely gift in your mid-40s, and to time it right before lockdown. I imagine that opened up so many more channels for reflection and self inquiry, unclouded by alcohol. And yes, i agree with the experience of being sober as energizing and exciting. As Laura McKowen says, "we ARE the luckiest.""A waking up and a liberation," as you put it so well.