9 Comments

beautiful. what a chance to get to know one another and yourselves...

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Thank you Elena for reading and your beautiful presence; always lifts my heart.

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Hi Marielle.

I’m enjoying and relating to your reflections while on the Camino with your mother. I especially resonate not only with your past pondering of how to find more ease, but this post in which you ponder the power of both past and future while staying with the gift of the present. I love that you considered your mom’s perspective and weaved it into your own

Coming up on 60, I still struggle with some of the same questions & struggles as you are: perfectionism, belonging, bullying, finding ease and flow; loss.

I’m a Mark Nepo fan, especially of The Awakening (a big part of my early sobriety reading and now just life wisdom reading), so I love that you included some of his inspiration along with your own beautiful poems.

Keep going, Marielle. With your writing, with your travels, with your progress on letting go of control & perfection and in finding the flow of ease.

Oh. And Thank you for the photos of Livraria Lello. This was a new discovery for me and I can see why it is so beloved and special.

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It’s amazing to hear that these themes resonate with so many and thank you for the encouragement. I need it! Also definitely try to visit Livraria Lello at some point. It’s worth the trip!

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Rosemary, thanks for reflecting on the essay & yes, isn’t it often the case that we share these same struggles across the generations. Glad we could introduce you to Livraria Lello, worth a trip on its own.

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I read this essay with great interest. Marielle, I appreciate your courage in opening the door to your heart and soul and sharing with us your inner explorations and your existential angst. In your yearning to be present and to live in ease, I see your burning passion for life. Amy's invitation to let go of the old story so you can live more in the present is filled with wisdom. I do want to challenge this concept though: Before you can let go of the old story, have you ever told the story in a way that allows you to stop and examine where in your body your strong emotions originate and bubble up? Have you ever tried to fully allow those emotions to be expressed, whether it's anger, resentment, sadness.... I encourage you to try it with Amy, tell your story (each time we tell a story, we're not regurgitating, but we're telling it to be heard in a new way), and feel into your body. Describe where you're feeling the sensations of strong emotions coming up. Let those emotions ramp up. If you cry, let those tears form and drop, until they dry up. Take a pause, and notice again what you're feeling in your body. See if any new thoughts or feelings come up. This somatic process is healing because our emotions get stuck in our body no matter how old they are. They cannot dissipate unless we move them through and out (e-motion). So it's important not to bypass them and go straight to the step of "letting go." Give it a try!

Back to your essay: I love the two metaphors - the pearl and the nautilus. I remember reading The Pearl when I was in secondary school and that imagery stuck in my head and inspired me too. The nautilus is such a fascinating creature, with its fractal formation and buoyancy chamber. Your interpretation of the nautilus as applied to your own life is exquisite.

What beautiful poems, music and photos you have woken through this essay. You have a great eye for beautiful -- not just the outer kind but the inner kind, and are talented with words. Keep writing and sharing!

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Thank you for your beautiful heartfelt reply and wisdom on this topic. I will definitely try this exercise. I recently did a “dance through grief” workshop that was all about the somatic process and I found it such a powerful release.

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You're welcome, dear! Dance through grief! What a great concept. I'm glad you experienced somatic release. I sometimes would dance spontaneously with a piece of classical music during my grieving time after the betrayal. It helped move my stuck emotions around.

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Such a wise and generous comment Louisa, thank you. Somatic healing can be so healing especially done in the safe space of someone who loves us. That is a beautiful suggestion.

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