Today, in part 2, my focus turns inward to the journey of heart and soul that I’ve been on since early 2022. With each step on the Camino over 186 miles, I found new hidden reserves of strength.
Oh Amy, Thank You! I'm so grateful today to have gone back to read this Part 2 of your Camino journey.
Your discovery of "holding on too tightly" and of "abundance lies in acceptance" both resonate deeply.
I've been mightily struggling with my current chapter not looking perhaps, as I might have hoped. And feeling stuck in a depression because of some circumstances, some of which are beyond my control to change. Sometimes being a Narrative Therapy Practitioner makes the journey more challenging because I can see even More layers of what's creating the stuckness and it can feel even more overwhelming to extricate.
I've spent so much time inward, it feels more like outward might be helpful. And yet when in depression that can be harder to do. Having treatment resistant depression wrapped in anxiety is not for the faint of heart. I try my best to be gentle with myself. To keep living one day at a time. And to see the good around me. Of which there is much!
This is all to say again, thank you. I would so like to walk the Camino. I think it would truly be helpful. Thank you for the extra encouragement to pursue through your posts. With lots of love, Kristin
Kristin, I am so glad you have found strength and support in this part of my series, that the realizations I've had echo in your own life, I really feel for your stuckness in your current chapter and for the depression you are experiencing. I know how wise and insightful you are and have no doubt you see all the layers but gathering the energy, focus and courage to work through that is hard, especially during a period of depression. So yes, continue to be gentle with yourself, show yourself so much compassion. Write yourself a short daily letter from love! I can't tell you how much that practice has supported me and Marielle, inspired by Liz Gilbert's Substack community. I know your heart and your innate optimism and love and kindness for others, so sprinkle some of that on your wonderful unicorn self, okay? And one day when I walk the Camino again--I think I will!--I see you beside me!
This part spoke to my motherly heart: “ I work at being present without trying to fix things for her: to listen with my whole heart as she guides herself to her own answers. I can listen and be more present for her because with time and patience my my own walls are coming down. “
How beautiful that this shift in how you witness your daughter came to you while in stride with her on this pilgrimage.
This is a stance I try to take with my daughter - I find it hard to stay there. Just with her without fixing things for her.
If you go back and read the part in quotes above, it could be words we regard as to ourselves. The letting go of trying to ceaselessly course correct our own behavior. The walls come down and we let go and let in so much, right?
Be here, now is the destiny offered in every day. I love how you are releasing some of the storylines you held as to how destiny shows up /ought to show up. We just be it, the destiny within each day. It’s that simple, right? Simple but not always easy 🙃
Thank you Allison for such a thoughtful response to the essay, for noticing one of its more vulnerable passages and resonating with it. How right you are that this is exactly how we should parent ourselves too, as we work to let the walls come down. We’re partway there, already I see so much more of the sky and the horizon, beyond ego, beyond the limitations we impose on ourselves. A good long walk in nature will do that for you😀big sky, little me. Humbling in the best way.
Thank you Julie. It can be so hard to let go of the things (and sometimes people) in our lives who can keep us from feeling our most joyful, authentic and buoyant. But when we have support and love around us, I feel (as my father said to my mother courting her!)—Anything is possible.
What a journey! So many awesome insights. I really enjoyed hearing about finding the strength within to keep going even after so many miles, your feet hurting, there was a reserve inside. Great metaphor for all of us. Wishing you abundant blessings of letting go and freely accepting all there is💕❤️🥰
Such an exquisite essay that describes your physical and spiritual pilgrimages that took place concurrently. The theme of letting go is profound and in fact, a sort of practical wisdom. I see how you've come to embody it in your being. I feel it in your presence. I find myself gradually letting go of the past after my relationship breakup. This didn't happen until after a period of rage that burned up the poison of the past and then surrendering to the universe with a million unanswered questions, including "why had I been abused all my life?" Well, with surrender came acceptance. Acceptance that I may never find the answer, and that to thrive in life, maybe I don't need to have "the answer" at all. BTW, I love your clearing the fog metaphor!
Thank you Louisa for this thoughtful comment and for being on this journey with me. I understand how much you've suffered and how far you've come too, in acceptance of those million unanswered (maybe unanswerable) questions. Forward we go!
Oh Amy, Thank You! I'm so grateful today to have gone back to read this Part 2 of your Camino journey.
Your discovery of "holding on too tightly" and of "abundance lies in acceptance" both resonate deeply.
I've been mightily struggling with my current chapter not looking perhaps, as I might have hoped. And feeling stuck in a depression because of some circumstances, some of which are beyond my control to change. Sometimes being a Narrative Therapy Practitioner makes the journey more challenging because I can see even More layers of what's creating the stuckness and it can feel even more overwhelming to extricate.
I've spent so much time inward, it feels more like outward might be helpful. And yet when in depression that can be harder to do. Having treatment resistant depression wrapped in anxiety is not for the faint of heart. I try my best to be gentle with myself. To keep living one day at a time. And to see the good around me. Of which there is much!
This is all to say again, thank you. I would so like to walk the Camino. I think it would truly be helpful. Thank you for the extra encouragement to pursue through your posts. With lots of love, Kristin
Kristin, I am so glad you have found strength and support in this part of my series, that the realizations I've had echo in your own life, I really feel for your stuckness in your current chapter and for the depression you are experiencing. I know how wise and insightful you are and have no doubt you see all the layers but gathering the energy, focus and courage to work through that is hard, especially during a period of depression. So yes, continue to be gentle with yourself, show yourself so much compassion. Write yourself a short daily letter from love! I can't tell you how much that practice has supported me and Marielle, inspired by Liz Gilbert's Substack community. I know your heart and your innate optimism and love and kindness for others, so sprinkle some of that on your wonderful unicorn self, okay? And one day when I walk the Camino again--I think I will!--I see you beside me!
I am loving this pilgrimage series, Amy. 💞
This part spoke to my motherly heart: “ I work at being present without trying to fix things for her: to listen with my whole heart as she guides herself to her own answers. I can listen and be more present for her because with time and patience my my own walls are coming down. “
How beautiful that this shift in how you witness your daughter came to you while in stride with her on this pilgrimage.
This is a stance I try to take with my daughter - I find it hard to stay there. Just with her without fixing things for her.
If you go back and read the part in quotes above, it could be words we regard as to ourselves. The letting go of trying to ceaselessly course correct our own behavior. The walls come down and we let go and let in so much, right?
Be here, now is the destiny offered in every day. I love how you are releasing some of the storylines you held as to how destiny shows up /ought to show up. We just be it, the destiny within each day. It’s that simple, right? Simple but not always easy 🙃
Thank you Allison for such a thoughtful response to the essay, for noticing one of its more vulnerable passages and resonating with it. How right you are that this is exactly how we should parent ourselves too, as we work to let the walls come down. We’re partway there, already I see so much more of the sky and the horizon, beyond ego, beyond the limitations we impose on ourselves. A good long walk in nature will do that for you😀big sky, little me. Humbling in the best way.
Loving the thought of your singing Austrian and his drying underpants Amy!
Irresistible detail wasn’t it! Thank you for reading & taking the time to comment. Miss you, my friend.
Beautiful words Amy. Letting go is something I need to do too.
Thank you Julie. It can be so hard to let go of the things (and sometimes people) in our lives who can keep us from feeling our most joyful, authentic and buoyant. But when we have support and love around us, I feel (as my father said to my mother courting her!)—Anything is possible.
What a journey! So many awesome insights. I really enjoyed hearing about finding the strength within to keep going even after so many miles, your feet hurting, there was a reserve inside. Great metaphor for all of us. Wishing you abundant blessings of letting go and freely accepting all there is💕❤️🥰
Thank you Amy: appreciate you witnessing my journey, physical and spiritual, with such understanding.
Thank you for sharing some of the wisdom you brought back from your Camino. Your words and insights are inspiring.
Thank you, Pat! All those miles and steps and aching muscles added up to some pretty powerful lessons.
Such an exquisite essay that describes your physical and spiritual pilgrimages that took place concurrently. The theme of letting go is profound and in fact, a sort of practical wisdom. I see how you've come to embody it in your being. I feel it in your presence. I find myself gradually letting go of the past after my relationship breakup. This didn't happen until after a period of rage that burned up the poison of the past and then surrendering to the universe with a million unanswered questions, including "why had I been abused all my life?" Well, with surrender came acceptance. Acceptance that I may never find the answer, and that to thrive in life, maybe I don't need to have "the answer" at all. BTW, I love your clearing the fog metaphor!
Thank you Louisa for this thoughtful comment and for being on this journey with me. I understand how much you've suffered and how far you've come too, in acceptance of those million unanswered (maybe unanswerable) questions. Forward we go!
Thanks for the restack, Sandra!
Thank you!!! I needed to read these pearls of wisdom today.
So glad you found those pearls helpful, Lise.