This so good. I am currently going through the same process. Being in a long term marriage (36 years) that simply is not working. You would think that being married for that long we’d have it figured out. It’s tough as hell navigating the fear and anxiety that comes with ending a marriage. But we grew apart and realizing that is the first step to moving forward.
I am so glad this piece spoke to you & I understand how difficult this can be to navigate when ending long marriages. You are right in that the awareness is the first step, and that even if in seeking our happiness and true self it means the end of the marriage, in time the decision can be a gift to both partners. That has been my experience. Wishing you strength clarity and self compassion.
Thank you, Deana! It is a tender young thing, this Substack, like a crocus just peeking out of the hard winter ground, and every kind word makes it blossom a little more!
I love your wise, tough-talking middle-of-the-night voice, Carol! She's definitely got your back. We can't change the past, we can only move forward--but that doesn't stop us from trying to do the impossible, does it? I reach for my Insight Timer meditation app when I can't shut out the voice of worries and rehashing the past. I let a wiser voice than mine enter my consciousness and it usually does the trick!
Thank you so much for your kind comment, Jen, and I know that voice and its whispers well. To be more in the moment is something I have very much in focus these days. Meditation helps, as does yoga, when we focus on our breath and that wonderful shavasana at the end of practice. But also walking WITHOUT OUR PHONES is magical. Looking not at the tiny horizon of the phone screen but the big beautiful horizon ahead of us, which can open up the horizon within us. Try walking without your phone (I am challenging myself on that, too) and let me know how it goes!
Hi Nina, so glad you are here. What a wise middle-of-the-night voice you have. The balance between being and doing is very much on my mind these days, and how seldom I am still. I get how difficult it is! Productivity has long been my drug of choice. Today's Mark Nepo reading captured this calling to simply be (yet again, so uncanny how that particular day's reading has just the right reflection): "Everyone alive embodies both being and doing. The wind we create by running is the energy of becoming, and the wind that comes to us by stilling ourselves is the energy of being." May we both feel just the right wind this week!
Congratulations, Amy, on the launch of your Substack newsletters. I'm so happy for you!
Your eloquent and moving words will touch the lives of many who are also navigating the complex waters of divorce, caregiving, and the carving of a meaningful second half of life.
Let go… as well but with a lot of caveats and fears attached.
Very wonderfully written, Amy. Must take so much strength to no only go through such a difficult year and changes but also write about it so eloquently and openly to help others! My best wishes to you.
This so good. I am currently going through the same process. Being in a long term marriage (36 years) that simply is not working. You would think that being married for that long we’d have it figured out. It’s tough as hell navigating the fear and anxiety that comes with ending a marriage. But we grew apart and realizing that is the first step to moving forward.
I am so glad this piece spoke to you & I understand how difficult this can be to navigate when ending long marriages. You are right in that the awareness is the first step, and that even if in seeking our happiness and true self it means the end of the marriage, in time the decision can be a gift to both partners. That has been my experience. Wishing you strength clarity and self compassion.
It's brilliant that you are stepping forward looking for happiness and willing to share what you learn along the way. Well done.
Thank you, Deana! It is a tender young thing, this Substack, like a crocus just peeking out of the hard winter ground, and every kind word makes it blossom a little more!
So happy that you finally left Amy you are so worth a better fate. Sad too to hear about your mom.
The voice in the night tells me to stop worrying, stop mind f---ing old mistakes and to let them go.
I love your wise, tough-talking middle-of-the-night voice, Carol! She's definitely got your back. We can't change the past, we can only move forward--but that doesn't stop us from trying to do the impossible, does it? I reach for my Insight Timer meditation app when I can't shut out the voice of worries and rehashing the past. I let a wiser voice than mine enter my consciousness and it usually does the trick!
Amy this is wonderful. Congratulations on many levels. The voice that whispers to me constantly says “be in the moment…”
Thank you so much for your kind comment, Jen, and I know that voice and its whispers well. To be more in the moment is something I have very much in focus these days. Meditation helps, as does yoga, when we focus on our breath and that wonderful shavasana at the end of practice. But also walking WITHOUT OUR PHONES is magical. Looking not at the tiny horizon of the phone screen but the big beautiful horizon ahead of us, which can open up the horizon within us. Try walking without your phone (I am challenging myself on that, too) and let me know how it goes!
This is a pleasure to read, Amy! I connect with many things you are saying.
The voice in the middle of the night is saying to me, "Be still and listen..." which is very difficult for me. Thank you for sharing with us!
Hi Nina, so glad you are here. What a wise middle-of-the-night voice you have. The balance between being and doing is very much on my mind these days, and how seldom I am still. I get how difficult it is! Productivity has long been my drug of choice. Today's Mark Nepo reading captured this calling to simply be (yet again, so uncanny how that particular day's reading has just the right reflection): "Everyone alive embodies both being and doing. The wind we create by running is the energy of becoming, and the wind that comes to us by stilling ourselves is the energy of being." May we both feel just the right wind this week!
Yes!
Beautifully written Amy! So real, so engaging, so relateable. Can't wait to read future entries! And here's one for your playlist - Ed Sheeran's beautiful tribute to his mom https://open.spotify.com/track/4VuS959DSpr82t3qBqCrWG?si=785119feb3184647
Thanks my dear friend! Glad you're here! And I am excited to listen to this Ed Sheeran song.
Congratulations, Amy, on the launch of your Substack newsletters. I'm so happy for you!
Your eloquent and moving words will touch the lives of many who are also navigating the complex waters of divorce, caregiving, and the carving of a meaningful second half of life.
Thank you for your support; that means so much to me. You express precisely my intention here.
Thank you so much dear one!
Beautifully written, Amy! I can’t wait to hear more.
Thank you for reading Darci and supporting my work. Glad you're here!
Let go… as well but with a lot of caveats and fears attached.
Very wonderfully written, Amy. Must take so much strength to no only go through such a difficult year and changes but also write about it so eloquently and openly to help others! My best wishes to you.
Thank you Pranay for those kind and understanding words. I am glad you are here.
This is amazing Amy. You are a very talented writer I can’t wait to hear more.
Means so much to me that you're here!
Thank you Julie for your support. So glad you're here!
#1: Question: What is the voice that whispers to you in the middle of the night and what is it trying to tell you?