15 Comments

Discussion question: Is your house of belonging situated within yourself, intimately connected to another, or have you found a bridge between the two?

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It is within myself, and it's taken me all my life up till now to find it. I'm still settling in, and only invite very few people in while I'm re-establishing my sense of trust for the outside world.

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I appreciate your honesty, "I'm still settling in and only invite a very few people in..." I like to think I am among the few--an invitation I very much appreciate. Have a loving day, soul bestie!

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Yes, you are one of the very few in my house right now, and you're welcome to visit and have a cozy cuppa with me :-) Enjoy a loving day, too, soul bestie <3

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Hi Amy, I just fortuitously found you here.

I relate to so much of what you write about. Thank you.

I will try and keep to the point, although subjects as potent as this could have you reading a novel in response from me here. 😊

I have found my house of belonging within. It has been a journey to find this home. I reside there now, as often as I remember to turn the key to the front door ( a daily practice!). It is a peaceful, joyful, place. It is HOME.

However... I am in a situation where I soon will have to leave the house I rent. I have been renting since my divorce 12 years ago. It is a scary time. I live in one of the most expensive places in NZ. Not because I'm rich! But because we moved here 21 years ago when Wanaka was simply one of the most beautiful places in the world and we enjoy nature and the outdoors. It is now very difficult to get into the property market let alone the rental market. Anyway, I will be writing about this myself. Because a physical home is also everything. We need that "temple" in which to feel safe, secure, to provide a base for our children, to create from, to do our work from. And to write from. ❤️

At the moment I am unsure of how that home will come to me but I must trust in the universe and continue to reside in my own inner home, from which all else is created.

Love your writing. Thanks Jo x

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Hello Joy all the way in beautiful New Zealand! So lovely you found me and can't wait to read your Substack, too. I love that metaphor of 'remembering to turn the key to the front door' of our house of belonging within. It is certainly a daily practice. For so long I was looking out the windows, sure that everything outside the house of "me" was what I wanted and needed. I am sorry you'll have to leave a house you love but I also believe in trusting in the universe and that if you are at home within yourself, I think you'll be guided to that physical home which I agree is important, too. Look forward to hearing how that goes when you write about it. Take care!

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Thank you for such a beautiful heart connecting reply Amy.

I have the word "Trust" written on a piece of paper which sits on my desk by a little vase of flowers. Trust is everything. It allows us to let go a little of that grasping feeling. Jo 💜

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"There was so much I would not even say to myself." Wow, how I walked through so much of the last decade the same way. Like you, I am finally getting it out (on paper) and in community. This is another gorgeous piece, Amy. I found myself with a bit of a tear in my eye because just last week, while in therapy with my husband, I said to him, "I just wish you were more curious about me" - this in response to complaints we both made about how transactional our marriage has become. I thank you letting us in this way, Amy. I'm currently trying to knock down the bridge between my husband and me. And build a new home xoxo

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Allison, thank you for your vulnerable and heartfelt comment. This is hard territory but you are in it and you are asking for what you need and that's the most important thing, I know now: to speak our hearts and to listen, too, from a place of curiosity. I wish for you all that you wish for yourself and your marriage.

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"There was so much I would not even say to myself." Wow, how I walked through so much of the last decade the same way. Like you, I am finally getting it out (on paper) and in community. This is another gorgeous piece, Amy. I found myself with a bit of a tear in my eye because just last week, while in therapy with my husband, I said to him, "I just wish you were more curious about me" - this in response to complaints we both made about how transactional our marriage has become. I thank you letting us in this way, Amy. I'm currently trying to knock down the bridge between my husband and me. And build a new home xoxo

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Thank you for so clearly and with courageous vulnerability sharing your journey towards your new home in yourself.

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I agree with Kristin that this essay is an expression of courage and deep innerwork. Thank you, Amy, for letting us travel with you and catch a glimpse of the difficult path you walked through, in search of your own house of belonging.

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Thank you Louisa for those kind and understanding words. I have learned that the home of our hearts can't ever be abandoned, even in romantic relationships that are happy and fulfilling.

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Absolutely true, Amy! Let's hold on to the seat of our soul & heart in our newly found house of belonging!

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Thank you so much for witnessing what I am so bravely and tenderly trying to do here. Appreciate you, my friend!

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