Getting comfortable with the sound of silence

How silence and stillness deepen clarity, connection, creativity and community

Silence fills my days now, in ways that it never has before. That’s understandable. For the first time in my life I am living alone, experiencing both the strain and the grace of solitude, as I wrote about recently.

Yet it is not the solitude but the silence that is making me squirm.

Unless I am focused on my work and my writing—for which I require complete silence—these days I need voices other than my own to fill the empty spaces of a house that suddenly feels much too big. I can’t seem to settle into a peaceful silence of the heart, to be still in the quiet of the moment, and let my thoughts wander where they will.

Instead, the moment I walk away from my desk, I turn on NPR’s Morning Edition or All Things Considered, with its daily dose of heartbreaking news from the Middle East. Or I’ll listen to a podcast: eavesdropping on a room of smart, wise people in conversation—so I don’t have to be in conversation with myself. Even when I am reading, which I do constantly, that writer’s voice is filling my head, not my own.

Then there are the voices of my people—my friends, my daughters, siblings—in phone, video and text conversations. These connections are vital but I notice that I also use them to fill pockets of silence that might otherwise make me anxious.

This discomfort with silence is inviting me to ask questions. Why am I avoiding silence? What is it that I am afraid of? What is it that I don’t want to hear when the only voice in the room is me?

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