Friday Happy Hour: What filled my cup this week

As I marked my third "soberversary" on Feb 1, it was the elixir of connection on sobriety, divorce, creativity and more that filled my cup. Here are some ways to quench your thirst this weekend.

Dear friends,

I am so glad you’re here. Today marks my three-year "soberversary." By my own reckoning I was one of those "gray area" drinkers in that very few people knew how much I was struggling with my increasing dependence on alcohol in the form of nightly wine to "take the edge off." But I knew alcohol had become a problem, numbing me to what I did not want to face in my marriage or in myself. And so I consider February 1 each year a day of liberation as much as celebration. An invitation to an awakening.

Giving up alcohol wasn't easy but it has been totally worth it and I can honestly say that this formerly wine-loving woman does not miss its presence in her life. Instead I gained clarity, and then, in time, the courage to take action. Removing the gauze of alcohol was, for me, that life-changing first step on the path I now find myself on.

On that road with me has been a group of extraordinary women whom I met through an online 21-day sobriety program. I believe it was destiny not an algorithm that put us in the same Marco Polo group. To this day we remain each other's lifelines, across the US and Canada and Australia. And so I raise a glass of non-alcoholic bubbly to those six soul sisters for all the changes we’ve experienced together these past three years.

You can read more about my sobriety journey here.

When change beckons, something has to give. Enter sobriety

Tomorrow, Feb 3, is another anniversary. Four months ago I launched this newsletter and it has become so much more than I ever imagined it would be. I had a great deal of fear about writing about some of the most difficult experiences of my life, in the honest and vulnerable way I wished to. But my fear was unfounded. Every time I find the courage to go a little deeper in what I write, I am met by an incredible outpouring of support. So thank you! Thank you for supporting me by becoming subscribers.

Each week, through exchanges with readers, I gain not only greater clarity into my own journey but am struck by how much we have in common. Everyone who leaves a comment leaves a piece of themselves here in the form of community and I am so grateful for that. If you are reading this in your inbox as an email, which I know most of my readers do, click on the title or my name to jump to my Substack page—and if you’re inspired, leave a comment and join our conversation.

Below is the post where it all started—part of my belief that in every ending there is a a beginning just waiting to be discovered.

This is not where my story ends

And now, as promised your Happy Hour list of thirst-quenching delights, none of which, I promise, will give you a hangover.

Clarity

If you’re curious about the clarity that might lie on the other side of sobriety, I can recommend the following newsletters on Substack which I follow. These writers are thoughtful, candid and offer their own hard-earned insights on being in recovery. In recovering from addiction they are uncovering an incredibly rich life.

Love Story

by

Laura McKowen

: Author of the moving memoir We Are The Luckiest (which was among my most powerful wakeup calls) and the supremely helpful guide Push Off From Here: Nine Essential Truths to Get You Through Sobriety (and Everything Else), Laura’s Substack delves often into sobriety but so much else, including behind-the-scenes peeks at the writing and publishing world.

DARE TO BE DRY

by

Allison Deraney

: I met Allison online in one of Laura’s courses and was so happy to find her publishing on Substack. Allison’s beautiful writing about sobriety and life and “daring to be” the fully human and most authentic versions of herself is not to be missed. I learn so much from every post she shares including how her challenges with a recent “digital detox” revealed to her a familiar pattern: “When it comes to my phone’s influence on me, it’s not control that I need to lean into. It’s acceptance. And surrender.”

Sober Soulful

by

Dana Leigh Lyons

: Dana shares raw, unfiltered writing about sobriety and soulful living and is a Doctor of Traditional Chinese Medicine. Her essays are both bracing and lovely to read and she offers a Financial Sobriety and Early Sobriety series that make for thought-provoking reading. Plus she is curating a SoberStack, an annotated directory of Substack newsletters devoted to addiction recovery and sobriety by writers spanning diverse ages, focus areas, and paths of recovery.

There’s also a ton of great writing and resources on sobriety over at

Holly Whitaker

‘s

Recovering

Substack.

If you’d like to keep reading (and get my personal voiceover of the article), please consider becoming a paid subscriber. Writing is how I make my living and a little financial support makes it possible for me to do more of this writing I love. Regardless, I am grateful you are here reading my work.